Establishing boundaries sounds complex because our thoughts often give us mixed directions on what we should and shouldn't be doing. Our logic and reasoning can sometimes tell us that something that feels wrong is "ok." Or we fear what others will think of us if we behave a certain way and therefore stay silent or allow our boundaries to be crossed. Our ego is always trying to fit in and be liked, which can be at the expense of our integrity. I know this because, for many years, I lived duplicitously. Only recently did I realize that in order to understand and establish boundaries that I can trust are right, it simply requires stillness and connecting with my body compass.
Today would be my mom's sixty-second birthday. It's been eighteen years and thirty-seven days since her death. Having processed all the stages of grief years ago, special dates like birthdays now simply shift to noticing and reflecting.
I started this Elation Explorer journey with the goal of doing one new thing a day for as long as I could. It lasted three months. To some that may look like failure, to me that is a great success.
I don't know about you, but the day after Christmas, for me personally, has always felt deflating. There is this huge build up of decorating, planning, time and mind-space investment in present and grocery shopping, cooking and baking, wrapping, cleaning, hosting, and rushing to fit in celebrating with as many friends and family that can fit into the holiday season space. It's easy to get so caught up in the doing and what comes next that I forget about simply being and enjoying the moment.
What many women and men experience, yet rarely talk about openly, are infertility issues. Like discussing your salary, society believes our reproductive organs are a taboo conversation topic. It makes people squirm and change the subject, or gossip and shame about later. Why? People openly share about so many personal things quite freely on social media, yet this topic in particular is shut behind the caged door of our hearts.
I am about twenty-percent through Martha Beck's Finding Your Way in a Wild New World. In chapter 1, she provides exercises and tips for entering a state of consciousness beyond language. Words and verbal language are too limited to explain experiences. In fact, they inhibit more than they help. Truth is dualistic. In all wisdom traditions, way-finders access a higher (and connected) consciousness through wordlessness.
We were asked to write our top 10 beliefs, those truths we know deep in our core. This is what I have learned thus far in life.
Family is where the heart finds its home. There are no rules, no box that defines who can or cannot be your family. Families come in all forms. I feel extremely blessed tonight to have been invited to Thanksgiving dinner with a tight-knit group of kind-hearted humans that happen to be blood-related to each other (and not me).
Thanks to my amazing clients, who have so graciously been open to playing with me and the tools, today marks 75 hours of coaching. With three and a half months remaining in training, I've completed the first requirement for Martha Beck Life Coach certification. This feels light and airy like I could dance on the clouds.
Two weeks ago, I was in a car accident. Our insurance has determined that repairing the damages to the Honda will cost more than the value of it. While my insurance company battles with the insurance company of the guy who ran the red light and hit me, we are pretty much playing a waiting game. This means I'm carless for the first time since I was 18-years old.